10 Can't Miss New Year's Resolutions

Admit it, every year you come up with a bunch of well-meaning New Year's resolutions that you know you're not going to keep, but you make them anyway. So this year, why not make some resolutions you might actually keep?

Presenting... 10 Can't Miss New Year's Resolutions!

1. I resolve to get up in the morning. Or at least try to.

2. I resolve to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Unless Conan or Jimmy Kimmel or Jon Stewart has on someone really good.

3. I resolve to exercise. Once in a while.

4. I resolve to eat healthier. Starting next week. Or the week after.

5. I resolve not to complain between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

6. I resolve to be nicer to people. When they are not pissing me off.

7. I resolve to do that thing I've been meaning to do. When I get around to it.

8. I resolve to spend less time on the computer and more time with people. On the computer.

9. I resolve to not be envious of all the cool stuff other people have. Just as soon as I get all that cool stuff.

10. I resolve to stop making New Year's resolutions. At least ones I know I'm not going to keep.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2011!